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Thursday, 26 June 2014

beaut lies


I'm not gonna lie about my
last sip of wine or
how far away I am from
where I should be. 

I'm not gonna lie about 
how much I wish to redo everything over
so that I'll be 3 steps closer to
what I call home, maybe.

I'm not gonna lie about 
just how much I'm not okay and
how I'll never be okay because
everything else isn't.

I'm not gonna lie about
how incomplete I'm still feeling,
be it all I can hear is your heartbeat 
when the radio's off.

 Day by day I lied, though,
about how everything will soon be fine
but that day never came and
now I'm just gonna call it a day.

wasn't my fav day.
things jst nv go my way,
not even in the right way it should b.
 I jst couldn't understand hw life's always unfair all the time;
some ppl jst have things happening in their lives while
some others wished a lot more but ended up with nth.

I'm tired of always trying & failing.
I'm sick of how my life is now.
I'm in my prime, this shouldn't b the way.
I need a breakthrough, jst give me a breakthrough,
I swear I'll be gud.

Thursday, 12 June 2014

A walk down the memory lane

It's funny how day by day everything seems unchanged,
but when you look back, everything's different.

The early 20s transition is a tough one.
You're leaving your teenage life behind and getting yourself ready for adulthood.
Sometimes, you can't bear to part ways with old habits,
but yet you're forced to move nowhere but forward.

Initially, you'll give multiple attempts at what were used to be,
trading your new days for the old,
but they will never feel the same again and that's when 
you'll leave what's past for good. 

Me and my girls were looking back at old photos, old blog posts, old everything.
So much has changed;
we used to be so young, wild and free with nothing to consider for, 
other than where are the best places to have fun at.
Right now, we have responsibilities and work on our heavy shoulders,
and all we do is counting down hours from 9 to 5,
and savoring every last bit of weekends we think we truly deserve.

& honestly? None of us are ready for all these.

We used to love impromptu party night outs,
but now they just seem to be too inconsiderate.

 We used to meet up for dinner dates when we feel like it,
but now they are our only way to get a little breather on weekdays.

Sure, we got rid of the flat wallet problem,
but all the money are now spent on bills, taxi fares and food. 

Among the busy days and sleepy nights we all have now,
I believe we do dream about the best days of our lives discreetly, 
which we all deeply miss.

Proceeding to a new chapter means learning new things and exploring more.
I guess there's always a timid part in us which often runs back to what's familiar.
Only the day comes when all these became a routine which we've all gotten used to, 
we'll then find ourselves and the things we can do that will eventually define us.
As for now, we are just a bunch of ranting bitches who are missing the lost times, instead of making up to them. 

Here are some unglam period of me but yet worth remembering:

(To best friends of mine in these pictures,
sorry you're in this with me hahahaha.)


This was when I'm 17 & ignorant to the fact that I look funny without brows.

Where were my brows when I most needed em? :'(


This hairstyle was a total social suicide...

... it was a call for help...

I have no idea what was I thinking.
Now I know why I was so laughable that time,
possibly because of that crime scene of a hair....

...It was a shame that I had no fashion sense last time.

& now for the grand finale...



ii tell eu horrs, dis harestylle used tu biie derr cutestt harestylle att dat tymx okiies?
jjust' dat nw n0 l0nger iin trends marh.
kekex. dunch luff att miie lerhx, iie stiiu lukk kute marhhs, n0 mehhs?
llaugh summore ii g0 call mye ex ta0ehh whackk eu uhs.


Ok enough twitting the typing is giving me cancer.

Wednesday, 28 May 2014

The 10 foods that I'm always craving for

I know this sounds funny more than it's sad but,
I gained a massive 3kg right after the week of my birthday.
My friends were all mighty nice taking turns to celebrate my birthday over dinner;
dinners that consisted of my favourite foods.
Usually, my metabolism's able to wade off the extra pounds before they stick themselves to my hips and thighs,
but due to my newly acquired sedentary lifestyle as an office lady,
the metabolism slowed itself down a great deal ever since I started working.

Right now I've managed to shed off a kg without doing much,
except for a little bit of exercise (I just went downstairs to swim).
Hopefully I'm able to get back in shape soon
(mom: round's a shape too dear!)

In order to help me to achieve this,
I am going to restrict myself from my usual eats.
This is where this blogpost is going to come in handy for me because,
I am determined: I am not going to touch these foods/meals for a minimum 2 weeks
(starting small is always better).

1. Chinese Dumplings

I'm sure my love for chinese dumplings is kinda obvious.
Like I've mentioned in the that post,
the dumplings from Chinatown market is so far the best I've had.
Whenever my family is nearby, 
they will always purchase the frozen ones from the stall and store them in our freezer.
It's a joy to add 5 or 6 of them into instant noodles, or into home-cooked steamboat.
The good news this time round is that,
currently I don't have them in my freezer yay!
Eliminating this from my diet is gonna be easy peasy.

2. Black Carrot Cake

When it comes to carrot cake,
I always find the white ones bland and sometimes near to tasteless.
I admit, I have a heavy flavour palate;
this isn't very good since more salt/sugar is involved in my food to make it tasty to me.
I'm always craving for black carrot cake, I realized.
Whenever my mom goes to the market in the morning and asks me if I want any breakfast,
the first food that I can think of is always black carrot cake.
I think I'm hypnotized by these soft, dark soy sauce drenched fries eggs and carroty pieces.

This is a picture of my favourite dark carrot cake.
It's from a stall at Toa Payoh Central.
Of course, there are many other very good dark carrot cake,
(chomp chomp, kallang bahru market, etc),
but the one at tpy central has left the strongest impression in me;
perhaps I was really hungry that one time when I had it.

3. Dry Mala Hot-pot

Another favourite of mine which is also situated at Chinatown market:
Ri Ri Hong Mala Xiang Guo.
I like the dry hot pot there because they give me sooo much mala sauce
(I like lots of gravies on my rice).
The dry hot pot at AMK hub food court actually tastes really good too,
but sadly, it lives up to its name of being a DRY hot pot,
I hate it when my rice feels like desert.

4. Cold Seafood

Crabs, big juicy prawns, scallops, lobsters, & OYSTERRRS.
I love them all icy.
I always spam the cold seafood section whenever I'm having buffet,
and spare little attention on the other sections.
I love oysters the most, despite how revolting its flavour is to some people.
I can have 10 of them at one go, no problemo.

5. Mookata (Thailand BBQ steamboat)

I think this is one of the few difficult ones to refrain from.
It's kinda like a habit of mine to meet up with my friends after a long day work to unwind over a lengthy but satisfying mookata late dinner.
I always go to the one at golden mile no matter how inaccessible it is from my place.
My love for Mookata is deeper than the ocean.

:( Want some right now after seeing this picture.


 No one knows steamboat better than Hai Di Lao.

Ever since my virgin trip to HDL last month,
I no longer crave for steamboat from other places.
This sucks because HDL is always so full and reservation is pretty tough,
(unless you're heading there for supper after 11pm then rest assured, it's almost half empty).
I always crave for steamboat from time to time;
I love cooking my own food and pairing them up with good soup bases.
Furthermore, steamboat can never go wrong;
beef, pork belly, mutton, assorted mushrooms, eggs, vermicelli, seafood, etc.
It covers mostly everything.

I miss HDL's tomato soup and spicy soup,
they are sooooo comforting somehow.

7. Spicy instant ramen with cheese and egg

I love having this especially when I'm alone at home and feeling lazy.
Some people that had seen me adding cheese to my ramen was skeptical,
but truth to be told, that's kinda the way koreans eat their ramen sometimes and,
it's ridiculously delicious.
Many people are doing it now actually, it's no biggie,
but I love it so much this has gotta be one of my all time cravings.

8. Coco Ichibanya Hash beef curry Omelette rice

I always order this whenever I patronize Coco Ichibanya.
Personally, I think this is the best curry rice in their menu.
The portion isn't very small but I always feel that one portion isn't enough for me,
because it's too delicious!
Soft beef slices, slightly sourish tomato-y curry with chewy rice topped with fluffy, moist and buttery eggs;
I will always crave for this plate of curry rice,
always have, always will.

9.Korean BBQ

This is also one of the toughest to get rid of.
(I love love love Superstar K, by the way).
Kimchi soup, juicy half cooked beef chunks, soy sauce chicken, fluffy steamed eggs, buttery mash potato,
I wanna cry so much while typing the sentence above, knowing that I am not gonna have them for a few weeks.


...on almost anything.
Carbonara, rosti, Benedict, etc.
It doesn't matter because

This is an example of a good poached egg to me; on Antoinette's cabonara.
(whites are not too hard and yolk is not too runny that I couldn't catch it).

Actually there's nothing fattening about poached eggs,
but the dishes that are served along with them, ugh.
Bye poached eggs, gonna replace you with hard-boiled eggs for now.

I shall weigh myself again in 2 weeks time after excluding these meals in my diet.
Hopefully I'll drop more than 2 kg,
then I can celebrate and eat them one by one like a checklist,
 and still be back to my old weight.
*fat hope*

Stomach's growling while writing this post.
Shall sleep it off now, nothing's tastier than a flat tummy.

Thursday, 22 May 2014

The truth about being taken for granted

During couple spats, there are bound to be a few "stop taking me for granted" here and there.

It is often assumed that the one at the receiving end of this sentence is the one who cared less in the relationship, and it's true, I agree with that.
The thing is, most people just stop there and simply place conclusions. 
To me, there is more to that.

Why is the boy taking the girl for granted? Was he that way in every relationship?
Was he broken by the previous relationship that made him this way?

There are many reasons why people take others for granted;
& honestly? I think the ones to be blamed are the victims themselves.
I know I sound heartless to you now, 
but truth to be told, I got my fair share of experience when it comes to being taken for granted,
and I blame no one but myself.

1. Half sugarism 

Everything too much is never too good. 

It's like making yourself a cup of tea. The right amount of sugar creates a subtle sweetness and too much sugar overpowers the aroma of the tea leaves and makes the cup of tea less enticing.

Many guys/girls I've seen complaining that their partners are taking them for granted are usually what I called, "a little cray cray" or "over the top". Striving to be the perfect lover is one thing but being a good one, is another. Too nice is never = too good, remember that.

Practicing half sugarism gives your partner the "roller coaster" experience. Just imagine, if a roller coaster doesn't have ups and downs, and is just moving at a high speed with no loops and turns, highs and lows, will it still be an exciting and fun ride? Being nice all the time is simply flat. There isn't anything for your partner to look forward to because you're nice, all. the. time.

I don't mean that you have to be awful to your partner and then be nice,
don't play mind games. 
What I'm trying to say is, be nice but in moderation and in the right situations.

2. He/she is effortless because you suck them all away

Has it occurred to you that you're always the one trying and giving?
Yes, your partner should hold his/her end of the stick and meet you half way but,
why isn't he/she doing that?

People say men likes to be the chaser, the predator.
Women who are easy to get are like carcasses dropped at their doorsteps.
This takes away all the fun in hunting and
that's why men find such women less attractive.
The truth is, it doesn't only apply to men,
it applies to everyone.

Putting in unconditional efforts all the time can sometimes make your partner feel that 
he/she doesn't need to do much to keep you. 
This is especially true if your partner is the conceited type.
To them, because you're showing such eagerness in the relationship, 
they think by having them is the best thing that could ever happen to you,
and by allowing you to give is all the appreciation you can ever receive.

For those less conceited type, it is difficult for them to keep up with your efforts,
because it feels as though you put in their share of efforts, too,
and whatever they do can never top what you've done for them.

The beauty of gift exchanges is giving and receiving a thoughtful gift once in awhile.
By sending gifts all the time, your gifts lose their meanings.

You can't blame your partner for not knowing how to drive if you're always the one driving, 
take the back seat once in awhile.

3. You don't share your thoughts

This is especially true when you're the Reacher in the relationship. 

Just because you think you are less attractive/rich/gifted/popular than your partner,
it doesn't mean you should give in all the time and treat your own thoughts less importantly.

Just remember, your partner may be the Settler, but look, he/she settled for you; that should mean something. There must be something about you that your partner appreciates; this gives your thought as much of a priority as your partner's.

It is your fault if your partner takes no attention to your thoughts/feelings which seemed like he/she is taking you for granted because you are always going with his/her flow and agreeing to everything. 
It's not wrong to assume that that's just the way you are.

4. You're not giving enough space

Just like nature, everything needs a balance. 

You treat your partner as your world and your life revolves all around him/her. 
That explains how you're always attentive, sweet and caring,
because you placed all your time and effort in the relationship, 
treating it like it's the only project you have going on in your life.
It's no wonder you're the one always giving because honestly, 
you've got nothing better in your mind that you wish to do, everything's secondary.

Striking a balance in a relationship is a must. 
You can't be too clingy that it's suffocating and yet not too distant that might kill the relationship.
Absence indeed makes the heart grow fonder, but too much makes the love wither, too. 
What's best is to leave your partner alone to participate in other things crucial in his/her life,
and yet be there when he/she needs you.
Your absence makes your partner appreciate your presence more.

5. You allowed it

No one knows where your limit is. Every relationship is a trial & error.

Your irks and preferences should be made known to your partner (unless you're dating a psychic).

If you never once voice out to your partner on how unappreciative you feel, 
it's no surprise that he/she spares no regards to it.

Imagine how a scenario can have 2 different outcomes:

You cooked a meal for your boyfriend when he came back from work and he went straight to the shower after dinner without showing his thanks.

Not voicing out: you kept it to yourself and always look back on this incident to remind yourself how unappreciative your boyfriend is.

Voicing out: you found out that his negligence was due to him being drained from work and he apologized for making you feel unappreciated.

Not voicing out all the time will soon create a snowball of misunderstandings,
which could eventually harm the relationship by making it seems like one is taking the other for granted.
Everyone has different view on things; 
maybe to your partner it's perfectly fine when it's not okay to you. 
It's your job to let him/her know so that he/she can be better for you.
Letting it be and then blaming your partner for taking you for granted later,
this isn't fair at all.

6. You're dating a bitch/jerk

No argue with that.

Sometimes it's true that you're taken for granted because your partner just sucks.

It's time to see exactly how much you actually are worth.

The person taking for granted is not always fully at fault.
I guess sometimes, underlying problems are seen only through the looking glass.
Personally, when I see a clingy girl or perhaps, a boy who is eager to please,
I don't feel sorry for them when their partner is being laid back in the relationship,
because the reason to their problem is blatant.

Thursday, 15 May 2014

Who makes dumplings in the middle of the night?!

So, Steven came by to drop some dumpling making knowledge on a wednesday night,
 after he whatsapp-ed me a picture of his home-made dumplings on monday.

I am a 水饺 (dumpling) addict.
& no, it's not the same as wanton okay,
they are totally different;
okay maybe they're like cousins but definitely not identical.

My family loves dumplings too.
We used to frequent a chinese restaurant that sells awesome dumplings at Bras Basah Complex.
Sadly, it closed down 2 years ago.
We went there for dinner almost 2 times a week, for about 10 years.
It's a shame that the business is now non-existent.

We tried making our own dumplings though,
but they just kinda sucked in their own ways.
Furthermore, with our ridiculously high standard for it,
it's difficult to find our next favourite.
We were stuck in this dumpling drought for quite sometime,
until last year, we found a stall in Chinatown market that sells very good dumplings and
the best part is,
We stock them up in our freezer frequently;
there is never any room left for ice-cream.

No matter how much I bragged about finding the tastiest dumpling,
Steven will always shake his head and look all amused.
He's from China so he thinks that no one can make better dumplings than him.


Me: *Holding up my phone* I like this neat picture of the bottles.
Me: Not like you sell dumplings or what.
S: You never know in the future right? Thanks for killing my dream.

 I think I have a natural talent at wrapping dumplings, haha!
Maybe someday you will see me through the glass window at Din Tai Fung wrapping Xiao Long Bao.

Look at mine. So cute and puffy and phat.

We wrapped only a few and bring them to boil for taste test.
Turns out, the fillings weren't salty enough to bring out the meat flavours.
We add in extra salt and then bring some more to boil,
repeating the cycle until we got the right level of saltiness. 


V O I L A!

Can't help but feel that the dumpling skin looks like a brain.
(put a drop of red dye and you'll get something delicious and fun for Halloween parties).

Apart from that, they do look awesome right!
The meat is really juicy, which is a good sign.
Sometimes the meat turns out to be tough and dry, and that's a no-no.


Chinatown's: 10/10 (to me it's still the best)

Steven's: 8/10

Our past attempts: -5/10, -2/10, 0/10, 3/10, 5,10, -10/10

(it was getting better actually, as you can see. Until 5 years ago my dad said 'hey lets do something fun this chinese new year' and decided to wrap a dollar coin into some of the dumplings and whoever ate it gets to keep the dollar. In his defense it was during chinese new year but to me, it's still gross.)

I'll be happy to share the recipe though.
Any interested parties can ask me through my FB/Twitter/Email/

or if you know me just come to me.


Wednesday, 14 May 2014

When hiatus went way too long...

This space is filled with cyber cobwebs and dust mites.

It's been a really long time because I've started working full time!
I am now officially a marketing executive for a wine company so,
any wine lovers out there, do come to me for any atas wines/water/tea/glassware you like.

Apart from full time job,
I am still actively keeping my modelling passion alive.
There are lesser events I can commit to no doubt, but I can still do weekend events and photoshoots.
Perhaps you've already seen it in my facebook or instagram,
Here are some of my favourites from my recent shoot:

I honestly think that I was born with a naturally proud face.
I actually get that from people a lot.
Sadly not in a good way most of the time.
People who didn't get to know me tend to judge me first, 
usually saying that I am arrogant or snooty.
Little do they know I am actually a very awkwardly funny and friendly person.

So instead of marinating myself in self pity that I could've 284753442539 more friends if my face is friendlier, 
I decided I should make full use of it.
I think I can pull off a strong, cool look full of smize and awkward poses anytime compared to 
a pocket full of sunshine, rainbows and smiles.
I feel like trying a high fashion shoot something like these:

Well, hopefully my next photography assignment is somewhere along this line
*fingers crossed*

I actually enjoy being on the other end,
that is, the photographer instead of the model.
So far, I do have passion in food photography;
I can make your chocolate lava cake or egg yolk look more elegant than they really are,
but I am the amateur instagrammer type though.
Never have I ventured into portraiture or any other form of photography, 
and maybe it's time I should pick it up as a hobby and see how well I'll fare.
(something to keep my 8 to 5 lifestyle from getting too stale or boring)

 Told J about my new hobby to be:

J: if you think you like it maybe you should try it.
Me: I don't know man, where should I start?
J: at least get a DSLR first and start playing with it from there.
Me: Well I received a polaroid camera last week for my birthday so...


Just gotta hurt feelings, J, just gotta..

On a side note...
does today feel like monday to you?
Cos it does to me & I hate it.
Happy Wednesday blues everyone.